Hot Best Seller

Burnout: The Secret to Unlocking the Stress Cycle

Availability: Ready to download

This groundbreaking book explains why women experience burnout differently than men—and provides a simple, science-based plan to help women minimize stress, manage emotions, and live a more joyful life. Burnout. Many women in America have experienced it. What’s expected of women and what it’s really like to be a woman in today’s world are two very different things—and women This groundbreaking book explains why women experience burnout differently than men—and provides a simple, science-based plan to help women minimize stress, manage emotions, and live a more joyful life. Burnout. Many women in America have experienced it. What’s expected of women and what it’s really like to be a woman in today’s world are two very different things—and women exhaust themselves trying to close the gap between them. How can you “love your body” when every magazine cover has ten diet tips for becoming “your best self”? How do you “lean in” at work when you’re already operating at 110 percent and aren’t recognized for it? How can you live happily and healthily in a sexist world that is constantly telling you you’re too fat, too needy, too noisy, and too selfish? Sisters Emily Nagoski, PhD, and Amelia Nagoski, DMA, are here to help end the cycle of feeling overwhelmed and exhausted. Instead of asking us to ignore the very real obstacles and societal pressures that stand between women and well-being, they explain with compassion and optimism what we’re up against—and show us how to fight back. In these pages you’ll learn • what you can do to complete the biological stress cycle—and return your body to a state of relaxation • how to manage the “monitor” in your brain that regulates the emotion of frustration • how the Bikini Industrial Complex makes it difficult for women to love their bodies—and how to defend yourself against it • why rest, human connection, and befriending your inner critic are keys to recovering and preventing burnout With the help of eye-opening science, prescriptive advice, and helpful worksheets and exercises, all women will find something transformative in these pages—and will be empowered to create positive change. Emily and Amelia aren’t here to preach the broad platitudes of expensive self-care or insist that we strive for the impossible goal of “having it all.” Instead, they tell us that we are enough, just as we are—and that wellness, true wellness, is within our reach.


Compare

This groundbreaking book explains why women experience burnout differently than men—and provides a simple, science-based plan to help women minimize stress, manage emotions, and live a more joyful life. Burnout. Many women in America have experienced it. What’s expected of women and what it’s really like to be a woman in today’s world are two very different things—and women This groundbreaking book explains why women experience burnout differently than men—and provides a simple, science-based plan to help women minimize stress, manage emotions, and live a more joyful life. Burnout. Many women in America have experienced it. What’s expected of women and what it’s really like to be a woman in today’s world are two very different things—and women exhaust themselves trying to close the gap between them. How can you “love your body” when every magazine cover has ten diet tips for becoming “your best self”? How do you “lean in” at work when you’re already operating at 110 percent and aren’t recognized for it? How can you live happily and healthily in a sexist world that is constantly telling you you’re too fat, too needy, too noisy, and too selfish? Sisters Emily Nagoski, PhD, and Amelia Nagoski, DMA, are here to help end the cycle of feeling overwhelmed and exhausted. Instead of asking us to ignore the very real obstacles and societal pressures that stand between women and well-being, they explain with compassion and optimism what we’re up against—and show us how to fight back. In these pages you’ll learn • what you can do to complete the biological stress cycle—and return your body to a state of relaxation • how to manage the “monitor” in your brain that regulates the emotion of frustration • how the Bikini Industrial Complex makes it difficult for women to love their bodies—and how to defend yourself against it • why rest, human connection, and befriending your inner critic are keys to recovering and preventing burnout With the help of eye-opening science, prescriptive advice, and helpful worksheets and exercises, all women will find something transformative in these pages—and will be empowered to create positive change. Emily and Amelia aren’t here to preach the broad platitudes of expensive self-care or insist that we strive for the impossible goal of “having it all.” Instead, they tell us that we are enough, just as we are—and that wellness, true wellness, is within our reach.

30 review for Burnout: The Secret to Unlocking the Stress Cycle

  1. 4 out of 5

    Elyse Walters

    Audiobook... read by the author. When I first saw this perky pink- book - with the title “Burnout”.... I was kidding - but not completely when I said... “Paul, I have a book for you”. Paul looked at the title and said.... “stresses me out just looking at that book”. I thought I would be nice and download it and see if I had any words of wisdom to pass on to my husband who is experiencing different degrees of burnout associated with his tired aching body, paperwork, and the state of our country. Audiobook... read by the author. When I first saw this perky pink- book - with the title “Burnout”.... I was kidding - but not completely when I said... “Paul, I have a book for you”. Paul looked at the title and said.... “stresses me out just looking at that book”. I thought I would be nice and download it and see if I had any words of wisdom to pass on to my husband who is experiencing different degrees of burnout associated with his tired aching body, paperwork, and the state of our country. Tossing out special Olympics for children- tossed my husband over the edge into depression. So - I listen to many chapters while I was relaxing in our warm pool. I repeat: I was ‘relaxed’ when listening to this Audiobook. It didn’t take long until everything about this book was stressing me out. I found it completely annoying. Much of the writing is semantics - a clever play on words and made up scenarios/ stories that we can relate to.... but do we need to have every little detail -people’s challenges- POUNDED INTO OUR HEADS? It’s exhausting. A totally ineffective self help book. There wasn’t an ounce of anything that wasn’t familiar. This book wasn’t even close to offering clear effective solutions. The big conclusion- The book isn’t about happiness… It’s about joy. The difference between the two words is that happiness are things that are happening... Joy is a state of being...( basically our inner state of well-being). Every chapter ‘stresses’ the stresses. The givers of the world: teachers - nurses - mothers - all give too much. What’s new about that? We need connection... yes I agree - So what? And your point is???? A very annoying stressful - draining experience. It’s a no-fun venting party of everything we all already know. Dull and boring!!!! I want my money back. Paul was right... this book is guaranteed to stress you out. It’s a health hazard.... ‘creating’ stress induced endorphins. No way Jose! Not a fan!!!

  2. 4 out of 5

    Trin

    This is a really well-intentioned book, and I think/hope it will be helpful to a lot of people. I think the authors' advice is generally very good. However, nothing in here was particularly new to me, nor presented in a way that especially resonated. In fact, I found the sort of Tumblr-y, fandom-lite writing style--"feels"! "tl;dr"! quoting Cassandra Clare, good god--to be a little too cutesy. Like, it was just a half-beat off rhythm from the kind of humor and #relatablecontent that does resonat This is a really well-intentioned book, and I think/hope it will be helpful to a lot of people. I think the authors' advice is generally very good. However, nothing in here was particularly new to me, nor presented in a way that especially resonated. In fact, I found the sort of Tumblr-y, fandom-lite writing style--"feels"! "tl;dr"! quoting Cassandra Clare, good god--to be a little too cutesy. Like, it was just a half-beat off rhythm from the kind of humor and #relatablecontent that does resonate with me, and that slight offness grated more than if this had been a cold and purely academic work. I can definitely see the audience though, and I hope it helps them, because in general terms, I think the authors are spot on about why modern women are stressed the fuck out. (Hint: it's the patriarchy, stupid.)

  3. 4 out of 5

    Meagan

    This book is filled with so much information, and I’ve been obsessively recommending it and quoting it to just about every woman I know. It’s got so much good and general information about the stress cycle, and how to deal with it. (And anxiety, and burnout, and loneliness, and and and.) A lot of the information applies to all humans, but this book addresses the unique stress related to being a female-type person. None of that stress will be surprising to women, but this is the first time I can This book is filled with so much information, and I’ve been obsessively recommending it and quoting it to just about every woman I know. It’s got so much good and general information about the stress cycle, and how to deal with it. (And anxiety, and burnout, and loneliness, and and and.) A lot of the information applies to all humans, but this book addresses the unique stress related to being a female-type person. None of that stress will be surprising to women, but this is the first time I can think of that I’ve gotten good advice about what to do about it. Good, science-based advice that doesn’t involve just taking a bubble bath, taking a deep breath, and plunging back into the fray. In this intensely depressing moment of history, with Trump and Kavanaugh and Weinstein (and and and) this book made me feel a little hopeful. I’ll need to revisit it regularly, because it involves a lot of elements, but it rang true. I hope the women I know and love will read it. It’s so worth the time. Thanks to the publisher for providing me with an advance copy!

  4. 4 out of 5

    Molly Ferguson

    This is the feminist book on stress I never knew I needed! I would never have picked up this book if I were judging its cover, first for the "breast cancer ribbon pink" of the cover and then for the title. I blame the publishers rather than the authors for this, though, because once inside the book is searingly feminist and offers excellent examples and tips for how to "complete the stress cycle" so that you live to smash the patriarchy another day. I don't think of myself as someone who is "bur This is the feminist book on stress I never knew I needed! I would never have picked up this book if I were judging its cover, first for the "breast cancer ribbon pink" of the cover and then for the title. I blame the publishers rather than the authors for this, though, because once inside the book is searingly feminist and offers excellent examples and tips for how to "complete the stress cycle" so that you live to smash the patriarchy another day. I don't think of myself as someone who is "burnt out," and yet I found myself relating to so much of the book. I loved the explanation of the stress cycle, human giver syndrome, and the science the book offers on these things, as well as the summaries and worksheets. I even made a copy of the chapter titled "The Game is Rigged" to pass out to friends! The book got a little corny sometimes though - it didn't need the gimmicky internet speak it lapsed into (TL;DR). Overall, I really appreciated it and I think it should be sold as an antidote to _Girl, Wash your Face_, in a two-pack with Rebecca Traister's _Rage_.

  5. 5 out of 5

    Lorilin

    The only reason I picked up this book is because I went to the bookstore to pick up a different book by the same author called Come as You Are: The Surprising New Science that Will Transform Your Sex Life (a truly outstanding, mind-blowing exploration of female sexuality and the female orgasm. #yesplease). While I was there, though, I saw that Emily Nagoski (and her twin sister, Amelia) just released a new book called Burnout: The Secret to Unlocking the Stress Cycle. Whaaaat?! A book on how to The only reason I picked up this book is because I went to the bookstore to pick up a different book by the same author called Come as You Are: The Surprising New Science that Will Transform Your Sex Life (a truly outstanding, mind-blowing exploration of female sexuality and the female orgasm. #yesplease). While I was there, though, I saw that Emily Nagoski (and her twin sister, Amelia) just released a new book called Burnout: The Secret to Unlocking the Stress Cycle. Whaaaat?! A book on how to calm the eff down? Sold! I read Burnout in two days, and holy smokes wow, what a game changer. Probably the most important thing I learned about was completing the stress cycle—how even if you eliminate your stress trigger (e.g., your kids aren’t yelling at you anymore because you are letting them watch a movie), you still have to deal with the stress that’s floating around in your body. It literally, physically needs someplace to go. You have to workout, cry, laugh, breathe deeply, or create. Whatever it is, that pent up energy has to move through and OUT of you for you to actually feel calm again. And if you don’t allow yourself to complete the stress cycle, you basically just walk around all day every day with that constant frantic hum of electricity buzzing through your body. We’ve all been there, and it’s maddening. Though the advice above is applicable to both women AND men, be warned that the Nagoski twins spend a lot of time talking about “The Patriarchy (ugh)." They argue (and use scientific studies to prove) that women have been conditioned to ignore cues from their bodies; push themselves too hard to serve everyone but themselves; hate themselves for not being docile, emotion-less helpmates; and then accept blame when the world tells them they’re crazy for not being able to meet every impossible demand made of them. This section is hard-hitting but incredibly freeing, I’ve got to say. Men might have a different take on it, though… The last and most practical section is all about how to change this stress mess we’re now in. I won’t mention all of their suggestions, but some of my favorites are: *** Sleep 8 to 9 hours at night AND make time to rest during the day. *** Connect with people who get you. (The small section here on gaslighting was so eye-opening for me.) *** Acknowledge and accept the “madwoman in the attic” who constantly tells you that you aren’t measuring up. Find a way to become her friend. *** Show yourself some compassion, even when (especially when) the healing hurts. In short, I loved Burnout. It was the perfect book to read at this particular moment in my life—a breath of fresh air that helped me, well, breathe. I’m recommending it to every woman I know (and even a couple men…).

  6. 5 out of 5

    Taryn Pierson

    I’m skeptical when it comes to self help books, but after hearing the Nagoski sisters on Smart Podcast, Trashy Books and being totally charmed by them, I knew I wanted to hear more of their ideas. The title to me is a little limited for what the book actually is: an exploration of not just burnout but the stress that causes it, with a specific focus on how stress affects women and what we can do to release some of the pressure. Some chapters will resonate more or less with different readers, but I’m skeptical when it comes to self help books, but after hearing the Nagoski sisters on Smart Podcast, Trashy Books and being totally charmed by them, I knew I wanted to hear more of their ideas. The title to me is a little limited for what the book actually is: an exploration of not just burnout but the stress that causes it, with a specific focus on how stress affects women and what we can do to release some of the pressure. Some chapters will resonate more or less with different readers, but for me, the chapters on completing the cycle and the bikini industrial complex alone are worth the price of the book. I came away with a handful of concrete, actionable revelations, and the Nagoski sisters are cheerful and pleasant company (they take turns narrating the audio book). If you like Brené Brown, you'll probably find something useful here.

  7. 4 out of 5

    Amy-GallivantingPages

    *** 3.5 rounded up to 4 Stars *** Let me start by saying I am not a fan of self help books that feel like cheerleaders. I don't want to be cheered on in life. So then why did I request this book? I requested this because this is NOT that kind of self help book. Burnout is something we all fear and unfortunately happens to all of us. These ladies did their homework regarding the scientific evidence behind burnout and how to prevent it, which I was extremely interested in. There's some graphs and e *** 3.5 rounded up to 4 Stars *** Let me start by saying I am not a fan of self help books that feel like cheerleaders. I don't want to be cheered on in life. So then why did I request this book? I requested this because this is NOT that kind of self help book. Burnout is something we all fear and unfortunately happens to all of us. These ladies did their homework regarding the scientific evidence behind burnout and how to prevent it, which I was extremely interested in. There's some graphs and evidence based practice throughout and it was easy to understand; just straight up helpful. I related a lot more to this by having concrete facts of what I deal with and how to improve my stress rather than a " YAY- you can do it' mentality. Yeah, there were a few times I felt like they were cheerleaders but this book felt different overall. I really enjoyed at the end of every chapter they have a "TL;DR" section which stands for "Too Long, Didn't Read" and summarizes the main take away points from the chapter. Yes, I read every chapter but these really summed up and drove home the advice. Really enjoyed and recommend for females who are interested in how to adapt/deal and break the stress/burnout cycle we deal with. Special Thanks to NetGalley and Random House for allowing me an ARC in exchange for an honest review.

  8. 4 out of 5

    Anna J. Shelby ☕

    This book is such a disappointment. Buckets of crazy feminist bs in it. This sucks as a help book. It started out pretty good but turned into an annoying tirade about patriarchy and an obesity glorifying mantra. I was stressed out just reading it. The messages are a copy&paste from girls magazines: find joy, not happinness, connection and passion are key, etc. etc. The villain is the patriarchy only, and being overweight is awesome, because we are all such special snowflakes. I hear you, dear This book is such a disappointment. Buckets of crazy feminist bs in it. This sucks as a help book. It started out pretty good but turned into an annoying tirade about patriarchy and an obesity glorifying mantra. I was stressed out just reading it. The messages are a copy&paste from girls magazines: find joy, not happinness, connection and passion are key, etc. etc. The villain is the patriarchy only, and being overweight is awesome, because we are all such special snowflakes. I hear you, dear author. None should be discriminated because of their appearance. But why, not once do you mention the medical issues overweight entails. I wonder why, dear overweight author. This particular part of the book annoyed me to no end, because Nagoski does not talk about the real issue at hand, that being the fact that most societies discriminate people because of their appearance and maybe try to see the reasons for that. The Nagoski sisters just are just stuck at the point hammering into your head that you're awesome, no matter how unhealthy your lifestyle may be to your own body. It feels like this book is their message board to all those who bullied them because of their weight. Well, that's not what I was paying for. #The world changes! The nonsense of discrimination towards women is NOT status quo anymore everywhere. I just need to ask about the gender quote in an interview for a new job, and the male interviewer starts sweating immediately. We get pampered just because of our sex. That is not equality. There's nothing eye-opening in this book. None of the promised helpful advice. Not a recommendation from me.

  9. 5 out of 5

    Megan Mills

    All women should read this book.

  10. 4 out of 5

    Kaytee Cobb

    I need a copy of this book. Need.

  11. 4 out of 5

    Shannon A

    Everyone is burned out these days. Most of us (especially women) are brought up believing that you must be pretty, happy, calm, and generous at all times: Failure is not an option. This book blows the doors off all that, by uncovering the true elements of and causes of burnout (with help from Star Trek!) and gives the tools and techniques needed to combat burnout. This book is the much needed and urgent answer to a desperate call from all of us. This is the book we have all been waiting for. Ama Everyone is burned out these days. Most of us (especially women) are brought up believing that you must be pretty, happy, calm, and generous at all times: Failure is not an option. This book blows the doors off all that, by uncovering the true elements of and causes of burnout (with help from Star Trek!) and gives the tools and techniques needed to combat burnout. This book is the much needed and urgent answer to a desperate call from all of us. This is the book we have all been waiting for. Amazing.

  12. 4 out of 5

    angelareadsbooks

    Thank you to Netgalley and the publisher for the opportunity to read and review this book. Unfortunately this was a case of reading a book at the wrong time. I’m in the midst of a season of deep burnout. I’m in the midst of being three months unemployed. In my case, reading about the patriarchy and body image issues left me well... burned out. I do think a lot of people will resonate with this book. It is perfect timing for those feeling compassion fatigue. And it has some wonderful and deep thou Thank you to Netgalley and the publisher for the opportunity to read and review this book. Unfortunately this was a case of reading a book at the wrong time. I’m in the midst of a season of deep burnout. I’m in the midst of being three months unemployed. In my case, reading about the patriarchy and body image issues left me well... burned out. I do think a lot of people will resonate with this book. It is perfect timing for those feeling compassion fatigue. And it has some wonderful and deep thoughts. However in my particular season, I need less science and less social commentary. No matter how important or true it is. I did find the first three chapters to be beneficial, regarding breaking the physical cycle of stress. So I will take that information with me and perhaps return to the rest at another time in my life. I give this book three stars. Only because it wasn’t what I was personally needing right now.

  13. 4 out of 5

    Lisa Butterworth

    Much better than the average self-help book. It has all the usual good advice bits, and a few that were even new to me, specific advice for finishing the stress cycle, getting lots of rest, what self-care really looks like. I loved the "human giving" vs. "human being" discussion. The place where this book really stood out for me though, was is the acknowledgement of systemic inequality, so many self-help books want to sell the idea that you can fix all the problems in your life, and that makes m Much better than the average self-help book. It has all the usual good advice bits, and a few that were even new to me, specific advice for finishing the stress cycle, getting lots of rest, what self-care really looks like. I loved the "human giving" vs. "human being" discussion. The place where this book really stood out for me though, was is the acknowledgement of systemic inequality, so many self-help books want to sell the idea that you can fix all the problems in your life, and that makes me freaking crazy, because so many of hte problems women face, and more specifically women of color are a result of systemic injustice, and telling people that "self-help" can solve systemic problems is just once again blaming the victim. This book does NOT fall into this trope. There are whole chapters on coping with injustice and taking care of ones self in the midst of unavoidable inequality, and that is important work for us all to do.

  14. 5 out of 5

    Jules

    I eagerly bought this book the day it came out. I was surprised to find that this highly anticipated book on burn-out had turned into a hard feminist critique of society. I'm not much of a feminist scholar, but this critique made a lot of sense and will be influencing my future reading picks). The concept of Human caregiver syndrome especially is eye-opening. The problem with most burn-out books is that it's easy and insightful to diagnose this day and age's malfunctions with much flourish and vi I eagerly bought this book the day it came out. I was surprised to find that this highly anticipated book on burn-out had turned into a hard feminist critique of society. I'm not much of a feminist scholar, but this critique made a lot of sense and will be influencing my future reading picks). The concept of Human caregiver syndrome especially is eye-opening. The problem with most burn-out books is that it's easy and insightful to diagnose this day and age's malfunctions with much flourish and vitriol, but it's so much harder to offer a way out of them that's not trivial. The book gleefully mocks people's attempts to fix themselves with mindfulness and detox tea, only to later tell them to exercise daily and get enough sleep. Jogging doesn't seem the right answer for a system that is rigged. The latter part of the book addresses this and that is pretty great. But according to Emily, the system that is keeping us down is "The Patriarchy", and that's where she loses me. Women don't have a monopoly on burn-out. I would have experienced a little more exposition on (anti-)capitalism.

  15. 4 out of 5

    Meghan

    This book was received as an ARC from Random House Publishing Group - Ballantine in exchange for an honest review. Opinions and thoughts expressed in this review are completely my own. I was looking forward to reading this book due to the abundant amount of requests we get for books that help the mind and reduce stress. Dr. Emilt Nagoski constructed the book in an easy layout for the reader to follow and has shared some interesting techniques that I know will help some people. The book was very i This book was received as an ARC from Random House Publishing Group - Ballantine in exchange for an honest review. Opinions and thoughts expressed in this review are completely my own. I was looking forward to reading this book due to the abundant amount of requests we get for books that help the mind and reduce stress. Dr. Emilt Nagoski constructed the book in an easy layout for the reader to follow and has shared some interesting techniques that I know will help some people. The book was very informative and detailed but not too detailed to the point where it runs on and I know from books similar to burnout that was a huge turn off for our patrons that are interested in these books. An insightful book with interesting ideas that are sure to help reduce stress. We will consider adding this title to our stress relief display in our Non-Fiction section at our library. That is why we give this book 5 stars.

  16. 4 out of 5

    Rhoda Baxter

    I first heard about this book on the Smart Bitches podcast and thought it sounded interesting, so when I saw it on Netgalley, I requested it immediately. I burned out last year and ended up leaving my job. Anything that would help with my recovery would be most welcome. This book made sense. A lot of the stuff you get told to do to protect your mental health - meditate, take 'me time', colour in etc - and that sometimes it can feel like yet another thing you have to do. The advice in this book fe I first heard about this book on the Smart Bitches podcast and thought it sounded interesting, so when I saw it on Netgalley, I requested it immediately. I burned out last year and ended up leaving my job. Anything that would help with my recovery would be most welcome. This book made sense. A lot of the stuff you get told to do to protect your mental health - meditate, take 'me time', colour in etc - and that sometimes it can feel like yet another thing you have to do. The advice in this book felt different. It helped me make sense of how I was feeling and gave practical suggestions on what to do about it. The book differentiates between the stress and the stressors. It teaches you how to handle the stress. It's not a quick fix, but the suggestions do make sense. So far, I've tried a few things they've suggested and they have helped. Most of all, it's reminded me not to judge myself too harshly. Turns out, that's something I do a lot. It also turns out, I'm not along in that! The book is aimed at women, but I'm going to buy a copy for my husband because I think it is useful for men too. There's a lot about the patriarchy, but the definition of the patriarchy is such that it's not about railing against individual men per se, but about the patriarchal society that has pushed us all into unrealistic roles. I think this is one of the most important books I've read in years. Thank you Netgalley for the review copy. As I say, I will be buying a print copy of it anyway.

  17. 4 out of 5

    Kayla

    I have always struggled with pretty much everything the authors describe: toxic perfectionism, a lack of self-compassion, body image issues, all that mess. While many concepts in this book weren’t new, there were a few ideas that lit a fire under me and made me see things in a different way, particularly their concept of Human Giver Syndrome. A lot of self help books for women are either still steeped in patriarchal concepts (or don’t acknowledge more global issues) or basically tell you to medi I have always struggled with pretty much everything the authors describe: toxic perfectionism, a lack of self-compassion, body image issues, all that mess. While many concepts in this book weren’t new, there were a few ideas that lit a fire under me and made me see things in a different way, particularly their concept of Human Giver Syndrome. A lot of self help books for women are either still steeped in patriarchal concepts (or don’t acknowledge more global issues) or basically tell you to meditate and get over it. Those never worked for me. This book feels more realistic (if slightly more depressing about society) and gives much more realistic ideas about how to reframe your perspective and change your thought processes. I think this is a great, engaging book for women who need another look at why our lives feel so exhausting.

  18. 4 out of 5

    Brandon Cole

    Absolutely essential reading. This is a beautiful book about the unique stress people (especially women) experience after centuries of patriarchy and capitalism and also about how to not let it ruin you. The stressors examined and the science behind their effects are real and the remedies are compassionately appropriate. Some ideas may feel intuitive or all too familiar to women; I found it extremely informative and healing. I was also pleasantly surprised to learn a pretty solid blueprint for a Absolutely essential reading. This is a beautiful book about the unique stress people (especially women) experience after centuries of patriarchy and capitalism and also about how to not let it ruin you. The stressors examined and the science behind their effects are real and the remedies are compassionately appropriate. Some ideas may feel intuitive or all too familiar to women; I found it extremely informative and healing. I was also pleasantly surprised to learn a pretty solid blueprint for a secular worldview based in lovingkindness.

  19. 4 out of 5

    S

    Described as a feminist guide to women's survival, Burnout breaks down how to deal with stress, smash the patriarchy and be compassionate to yourself. I want to recommend this to several people in my life - but most of all, I want to do the work this book outlines. To help make the world kinder, by being kinder to myself and others, as Emily and Amelia Nagoski write.

  20. 4 out of 5

    Stephanie

    This book is a must-read. A game changer. It will be my go to gift for women in my life for the foreseeable future. It also reads beautifully.

  21. 5 out of 5

    Emily P

    "Burnout" got my attention with the title. As a working mom who is always feeling a bit overwhelmed, I knew many other women share the same struggles in taking good care of ourselves and trying not to do too much. Stress becomes an albatross that few can remove from their necks, and I figured reading a book like this might provide some insight on how to better balance this crazy life. What I found were two women who have experienced both the negatives and positives of stress. It is not really ho "Burnout" got my attention with the title. As a working mom who is always feeling a bit overwhelmed, I knew many other women share the same struggles in taking good care of ourselves and trying not to do too much. Stress becomes an albatross that few can remove from their necks, and I figured reading a book like this might provide some insight on how to better balance this crazy life. What I found were two women who have experienced both the negatives and positives of stress. It is not really how much stress we take on, but how we deal with the stressors. I could list many examples of times when I knew I was doing too much, but still kept pushing myself. Often I found I ended up sick or feeling sad. There are many reasons why women can't stop saying "yes" to all those things vying for our attention, and Emily and Amelia take turns addressing why, specifically calling the big issue "Human Giver Syndrome." We give, and we give and we give...but never take anything for ourselves or think of self-care. So we end up facing burnout. This is a mainstream publishing book, so be prepared for some coarse language, but honestly, I just kept pressing on through that to get to the good stuff. And believe me when I say there is a LOT of useful, helpful information here. I would recommend this book to any woman who finds herself continually putting herself last, even to her detriment. I learned a lot about the physical and physiological reasons why long term stress can be deadly, and I think this should be read by those who think that you can keep running at this pace with no ill side effects. These authors are new to me, but I believe I will look their other books up. This is one to read through slowly so you can benefit from the information given and put those new skills to work. I appreciated the opportunity to review early from #NetGalley and Penguin Random House. All opinions are my own and I was not required to leave a review.

  22. 5 out of 5

    Kerry Bridges

    I haven't really been a great reader of "self help" books as I have always preferred fiction, but a few people have recommended some books to me that they have found very beneficial to them so I thought I would dip my toe into the self help water. Unfortunately, I don't necessarily think this book was a good one for me. It is clearly very well researched (and that does mean a lot to me as a scientist) but there seemed to be a lot of book for no new information - namely that we experience a lot of I haven't really been a great reader of "self help" books as I have always preferred fiction, but a few people have recommended some books to me that they have found very beneficial to them so I thought I would dip my toe into the self help water. Unfortunately, I don't necessarily think this book was a good one for me. It is clearly very well researched (and that does mean a lot to me as a scientist) but there seemed to be a lot of book for no new information - namely that we experience a lot of stress in our lives and we need to do something to get rid of the stress even if we can't immediately get rid of the reason behind it. The recommendation appears to be to do some exercise or at least give yourself permission for a bit of down time. As a regular runner, swimmer and reader this is not really news to me, nor is it something that I need to read a book about to know that it's true. More importantly, I don't think many other people are likely not to already know it themselves. I suppose it does give one the tools to justify having a few minutes to ourselves but frankly, I needed the time I spent reading the book about it to have the time to do a destress! All in all, there isn't anything at all new in here that you won't already know - but you might enjoy looking at some of the reasoning behind it all.

  23. 4 out of 5

    Cari

    Thanks to Edelweiss, the authors, and the publisher for an advanced reader copy. I will be buying a copy of this book when it comes out so I can highlight it all over and remind myself that I need to be following its principles. The Nagoski sisters expertly explain the stress cycle and how we need to make sure we complete it - otherwise we're carrying that stress around with us every day. We need to recognize the adversity that we face, too, especially those of us who are women, people of color, Thanks to Edelweiss, the authors, and the publisher for an advanced reader copy. I will be buying a copy of this book when it comes out so I can highlight it all over and remind myself that I need to be following its principles. The Nagoski sisters expertly explain the stress cycle and how we need to make sure we complete it - otherwise we're carrying that stress around with us every day. We need to recognize the adversity that we face, too, especially those of us who are women, people of color, LGBTQIA+, and other marginalized populations. The patriarchy (ugh) is a Thing, and the Bikini Industrial Complex (BIC) is also a Thing. The Nagoskis will explain it to you when you read this book!

  24. 5 out of 5

    Amy

    I received this book as an advanced reader’s copy. Unlike other books that just provide a list of platitudes, such as Girl, Wash Your Face, this book addresses the problem from a scientific perspective while providing useful applications for dealing with the stress, stressors, and learned responses.

  25. 5 out of 5

    Robbin

    It's fine...I only cried five million tears reading this because it knew me so well. Full of nerd references which made these points hit home REALLY FRICKIN HARD.

  26. 5 out of 5

    Yzabel Ginsberg

    [I received a copy of this book through NetGalley, in exchange for an honest review.] Not exactly an eye-opener, since I was already considering a lot of the stressors and consequences it lists as, well, logical—but in that regard, it was also good to see that “ah, so it’s not just me seeing weird things where there isn’t anything.” The concepts of Human Giver vs. Human Being especially make a lot of sense when you think about how society tends to view, and divide, and force a lot of things on wo [I received a copy of this book through NetGalley, in exchange for an honest review.] Not exactly an eye-opener, since I was already considering a lot of the stressors and consequences it lists as, well, logical—but in that regard, it was also good to see that “ah, so it’s not just me seeing weird things where there isn’t anything.” The concepts of Human Giver vs. Human Being especially make a lot of sense when you think about how society tends to view, and divide, and force a lot of things on women. (Not that men don’t have stressors and burnout either, but the book is labelled as being about women, not as a more generic book about burnout; and I doubt that being seen as “human givers” is the main cause for men anyway.) “Human giver” has to be understood here as a person whose existence is seen as being devoted to others, and only others—and if they dare listen to themselves and take care of themselves for a change, shame on them, how dare they! I’m sure that if we take the time to think about it, a lot of us will have to acknowledge that it’s true (and is not only limited to obvious forms of giving such as volunteering etc.). I can clearly sense the discrepancy myself when I mention that I don’t want children and don’t want to devote my life to them, for instance: at some point I can cross out the “you’re so / what’s wrong with you” cases on my personal bingo, whereas the guy next to me who doesn’t want kids either gets a milder reaction. Or all the usual crap about getting your bikini body (‘tis the season right now, huh), about being pretty, about changing your body: the media don’t tell this to women because people are genuinely concerned about their health, but because that’s how women are supposed to present, and if they don’t—shame on them. I wouldn’t necessarily have linked this to Human Giver Syndrome, not just in passing, but in hindsight, it stems from the same source. (And no, the solution isn’t for us to all become selfish monsters, but for a redistribution of the giving, i.e. women are human beings too, not only givers; and men are just as able to give as well. So if everyone gives a little here and there, it balances out. Makes sense.) Again, nothing exactly new for m; however, seeing it in writing, seeing words put on my thoughts, allowing me to formulate them better, is something that I think can help in general. When we can word a feeling (or anything, in general), my take is that the “thing” becomes more tangible, more like something we can act upon. In that regard, I believe this book can definitely be of help. The book is well-researched, as far as I can tell, with suggestions, self-help exercises and other ideas outlined. While they may not all be convenient, or applicable, or ground-breaking (exercise is good for you = who doesn’t know that by now?), what was most useful to me was the reasoning behind it, because once I understand the causes-and-consequences chain, then it makes sense and I can more easily devise my own techniques. For instance, now I can specifically explain why I’m always more productive, sleep better, and generally feel better when I walk back home from work (a 40 minutes brisk walk), even when the day was physically tiring and I would expect additional physical activity to tire me even more: this was/is all part of my own unconscious attempts at “closing the stress cycle”. Now the whole thing makes so much more sense. (Basically, dealing with the stress and dealing with the stressors are two different things. The symptoms of stress—adrenaline, etc.—are hard-wired in us as old, old reactions, back when “stressor” was likely to be some wild animal threatening us—and so, we’d need to run. And once back to safety, after the run, that was “completing the stress cycle”, with our bodies being able to come down from the whole thing, and we’d be fine again. But you can’t do that anymore in a lot of situations now: if the stressor is your jerk of a boss belittling you at work, you can’t very well run away or smack them… so the cycle isn’t completed, and the stress, well, just stays.) Now, to be honest, I didn’t always agree with the writing (the blog-like tone would work in a review or an article, but not in a book, I think) or about some of the quotes (Cassandra Clare… really?). Sometimes it threw me out of my reading. I would also have liked a little more science in it, or rather, a somewhat more scientific writing—so that ties more with the aforementioned tone in general for me, and not with the research itself. Conclusion: 3.5 stars. A lot of things I already knew/suspected. Some things I didn’t and that now make more sense. Some things we’re still a long way of getting out of our lives (Human Giver Syndrome), but once you get how it works, at least you can start. Also, beware: “Jane Eyre” spoiler in Part III.

  27. 4 out of 5

    Alessandro

    As you might expect this book contains advice on how to deal with burnout. Luckily the authors approached this otherwise trite topic from a fresh, compassionate, and holistic perspective. As a result, the book contains lots of practical advice on how to deal with burnout intended not just as the "job" burnout that comes from working long hours and weekends, but as all kinds of burnout coming from labor—be it paid or unpaid—like emotional labor, managing relationships, dealing with kids, confront As you might expect this book contains advice on how to deal with burnout. Luckily the authors approached this otherwise trite topic from a fresh, compassionate, and holistic perspective. As a result, the book contains lots of practical advice on how to deal with burnout intended not just as the "job" burnout that comes from working long hours and weekends, but as all kinds of burnout coming from labor—be it paid or unpaid—like emotional labor, managing relationships, dealing with kids, confronting societal expectations, etc. They are able to pull this off in part thanks to the fact that the book is written for women. Reading this book as a man was an interesting experience! I did find lots of useful, practical advice—for example, the whole idea of "completing the stress cycle" is new to me and quite powerful—but some of the chapters, especially those about the human giver syndrome and the patriarchy, were clearly written for women and, while interesting, weren't as relevant or practical. If you are a man and you are not familiarized with the topic of gender inequality you might want to either go in with a very open mind or stay away from this book. This is an insider's perspective into what it means to be a woman and live in today's society. It's not written for you, and I can see how the most fragile among us could even be hurt by some of the content. But, if you let it, it can give you insight into the struggles the women in your life face every single day just because of their gender. If instead you are already familiar with feminism and gender inequality, this book might not necessarily provide "new" information, but it might serve as a reminder of how much we take women's extra labor and our privilege for granted, and hopefully make you a little bit more grateful towards the women in your life.

  28. 5 out of 5

    BookTrib.com

    Ever feel so burnt out you resemble a slice of overdone toast? If you’re a giver by need or nature, which encompasses most people who identify as female, as well as a number of men, stress is your companion. You may have tried any number of ways to deal with it—yoga, meditation, mindfulness, the newest Beyoncé album—but whatever you do stress seems always to gain the upper hand. The reason why it’s so hard to defeat is simple and surprising, according to Emily Nagoski Ph.D. and Amelia Nagoski, D Ever feel so burnt out you resemble a slice of overdone toast? If you’re a giver by need or nature, which encompasses most people who identify as female, as well as a number of men, stress is your companion. You may have tried any number of ways to deal with it—yoga, meditation, mindfulness, the newest Beyoncé album—but whatever you do stress seems always to gain the upper hand. The reason why it’s so hard to defeat is simple and surprising, according to Emily Nagoski Ph.D. and Amelia Nagoski, DMA, whose new book, Burnout: The Secret to Unlocking the Stress Cycle (Ballantine Books) outlines a radical idea: The way to combat stress is by accepting it and completing the stress cycle. Emily Nagoski, a therapist and sex educator, and Amelia Nagoski, a conductor and a professor of music, join forces to explore the science and social conditioning that makes stress so ubiquitous to those of us of the female persuasion. They point out that our society is generally divided between human givers and human beings, the former have been taught that their primary purpose is to sacrifice all to support the latter. (Or, as they say—patriarchy, ugh.) This means stress is baked into our culture. So, how do we avoid it? Actually, you can’t. Stress has a role in our safety and well-being, preparing us to deal with threats. Instead, what you can do is complete the stress cycle so anxiety doesn’t build up in your body and harm you. The rest of the review: https://booktrib.com/2019/04/stress-s...

  29. 5 out of 5

    Kitty Jay

    In this feminist self-help book, authors Emily and Amelia Nagoski (twins!) deconstruct the stress cycle, particularly in women, and how to overcome it, as well as point out the overarching infrastructure of our sexist culture that leads to stress and burnout. With a blend of science, anecdote, and wisdom, the book is aimed at any woman, whether a stay-at-home mom to a single professional without kids. Nagoski and Nagoski got off to a bit of a rocky start; their prose is a bit unusual and their c In this feminist self-help book, authors Emily and Amelia Nagoski (twins!) deconstruct the stress cycle, particularly in women, and how to overcome it, as well as point out the overarching infrastructure of our sexist culture that leads to stress and burnout. With a blend of science, anecdote, and wisdom, the book is aimed at any woman, whether a stay-at-home mom to a single professional without kids. Nagoski and Nagoski got off to a bit of a rocky start; their prose is a bit unusual and their choice of metaphors could be a bit confusing. They liken completing the stress cycle to "coming through the tunnel", which makes sense, but... doesn't. It's hard to explain, other than the first two chapters especially, there is a distinct lack of fluidity in the writing that makes it awkward at points. Thankfully, they catch their stride soon and the rest of the book flows effortlessly. I found two things immensely enjoyable and enlightening in this book, and they go hand-in-hand. The first is their paradigm of the "human beings" versus the "human givers". Human beings are allowed to exist, in all their messy glory; in fact, they are rewarded for persisting, showing emotion, and taking. Meanwhile, the human givers are taught that they are their for the purpose of the human beings: to serve, to be decorative, to make the human beings' lives easier. It's not hard to see where women fall in this structure. This leads to point number two: as they themselves mention, most self-help books insist that if women just did this, they would be fine! Which is great, except it ignores that a patriarchal society constantly puts stress on women simply for existing. Expecting women to give up sleep to take care of newborns, while fathers must sleep because they're working (never mind that Mom may be working too); constantly berating themselves for not measuring up to a perfect, size 0 ideal; asking women to hide their emotions and smile and not cause trouble because that would make others feel uncomfortable. Day by day, the barrage grows into rage and despair in equal measures. Nagoski and Nagoski have a wonderful way of putting this: the game is rigged. Being told that if you just did this by all those other self-help books, without acknowledging the game is rigged, just puts more pressure on women, who feel depressed because they still can't manage it, even when they do all the things they're supposed to. The game is rigged. It's one of the most quietly brilliant ways of putting it that I can think of. Aside from the awkward writing in the first few chapters (and, I must admit, most of the anecdotes, whose dialogue feels very stilted and false, like the characters are caught in some weird infomercial-land), and some obvious typos that an editor should have caught, this book is a marvelous look at stress through a feminist lens. With helpful tips on how to overcome it, backed by an impressive index of references, and how not to beat yourself up when the patriarchy gets you down, Nagoski and Nagoski have written a book that managed to feel more helpful and more practical than any other self-help book I've read, simply because it doesn't shy away from real problems and real stressors by suggesting you take a warm bath and just meditate away. By facing up to the problems - and there are major problems in our world today! - Nagoski and Nagoski show you that, yes, the game is rigged: but now that you know that, here's how you beat it. Note: I received an advanced reader's copy through a Goodreads giveaway.

  30. 5 out of 5

    Fanna

    || Manage stress || Empower women to thrive under pressure and enjoy balanced lives || Science based evidence with humor LISTS OR POSTS I'VE MENTIONED THIS BOOK IN 8 MOST ANTICIPATED NON-FICTION BOOKS RELEASING IN 2019 || HELP YOURSELF & LEARN THROUGH THESE BOOKS Blog/Website | Twitter | Tumblr | Instagram |

Add a review

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Loading...
We use cookies to give you the best online experience. By using our website you agree to our use of cookies in accordance with our cookie policy.